Dad has been gone for one year now. I can’t quite wrap my head around this fact. It has been a difficult year, trying to adjust to life without him in it. Not one day has passed where I haven’t thought about him or missed him. This grief journey is hard and it’s a see-saw of varying emotions. I wrote this based on my experience of grief.

This is for my Dad, but it can also be for anyone who has lost someone and holds them close to their heart. We all walk our own journey of grief but hopefully these words will make you feel less alone. I truly empathise with those that carry their burden of loss. May we always remember our loved ones and honour them in all that we do.

GRIEF IS…

Grief is like the ocean; the end is out of sight. It’s riding the waves, over and over and over again. Sometimes you are prepared for them, but sometimes you don’t know they’re coming until they are breaking over your head.

Grief is a thief. When you lose someone the loss is irreplaceable. You will never get over it. Over time, the deep ache will lessen into a dull throb. Some days will be worse than others. To grieve deeply is to have loved deeply.

Grief is something we will all go through at some point. Yet it is as individual as a fingerprint.

Grief is like a wound under a bandage – you can cover it up but it’s still there.

Grief is like a shape-shifter, an ever-changing force. It has many faces: anger, frustration, restlessness, stress, irritability, depression, anxiety, numbness, an overwhelming sense of urgency.

Grief is fake smiles and forced conversations. It’s pretending you’re okay because people have moved on but you are still aching. But suppression leads to depression.

Grief is having their name on your lips, always on the tip of your tongue. But saying their name feels different now they are not here to answer. Their name gets caught in your throat; a sharp discomfort when you try to swallow it down.

Grief is feeling stuck. While the world moves on, you are still caught up in the day they left.

Grief is guilt. Guilt for things said, or left unsaid when they were alive.

Grief is a deep longing, a yearning, burning fire that smoulders.

Grief is like carrying a heavy backpack that you can never put down. It goes wherever you go, always. 

Grief is upheaval, a violent jolt that immediately displaces you and who you used to be. 

Grief is the tightness in your chest whenever the truth hits you all over again – the knowledge you will never see them again, talk to them, hear them laugh, see them smile. Knowing they will never be there to share in life’s moments.

Grief is living with a part of your heart missing. 

Grief is constantly replaying old memories because you will never get to make new ones with them. 

Grief is staring longingly at the empty spaces they used to fill.

Grief is one of the strongest emotions we will ever have to face. 

Grief is seeing the true colours of those around you in the aftermath. Those who stay with you in your grief and those who don’t acknowledge it at all.

BUT GRIEF CAN ALSO BE:

 

Turning grief into something beautiful - Butterfly made from coloured tissue paper I made this butterfly from tissues that represented my grief – each one I pulled out was symbolic of different emotions that I experienced. I decided to turn them into something of beauty by dying the tissues and creating my own masterpiece. It was good therapy.

Grief is slowly re-discovering that joy can still exist. Grief is emerging out of a dark cocoon and seeing that beauty has not left the world. 

Grief is finding renewed purpose, having had a first-hand experience of the fragility of life. It is living your life in honour of the person who didn’t get to live the rest of theirs. 

Grief is finding a new empathy and understanding for others who have lost loved ones. 

Grief is forgiveness or understanding for past hurts. Seeing they did the best they could with what they knew.

Grief is finding a strength and resilience within yourself that you didn’t know you had.

Grief is having your loved one tucked safely in your warm, beating heart. In you, they live on. 

Grief is thinking about your loved one in every single thing you do and knowing they would be cheering you on, proud of the person you are.

Grief is being thankful that they existed in your life and contributed to who you are today. It is being grateful for the time you had with them. Every conversation, every hug and smile, every shared cup of tea, every memory created a bond so strong it couldn’t be severed by death. 

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2 responses to “Grief is…”

  1. Ness McGill says:

    That is such a beautiful post on grief and although I’ve grieved for lost loved ones in the past, it was never something I could put into words.
    Thank you for the words, they’re beautiful ?

    • suzifaed says:

      Thanks so much, Ness. Grieving is an exhausting, lonesome journey, but isn’t it nice when we realise many of us feel these things and we’re not as alone as we thought?
      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts x

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Suzi Faed Author Avatar

Hello& welcome to my blog, What If Warrior

Here you will find my multi-topic blog, told from my humble point of view. I write from the heart; for me, self-expression comes easier through written words. If you would like to read more about my inspiration for this blog, click here.