What if I die without ever truly living? This question has weighed on my mind throughout the years. Every now and then I get panicky, thinking I’m not doing enough, not living the way I want to be, not doing the things I want to do. But then the busyness of life takes over and those thoughts get pushed to the back of my mind. Chasing my dreams can wait.

But right now, this question holds more significance to me. Recently, I lost my Dad. I watched him die, I watched as he fought to hold onto his life. Afterwards, I held his lifeless hand and stroked his cold forehead. My chest still aches at the loss.
Not long before that, my husband lost his elderly Nana to a cruel disease. Before that we lost his middle-aged cousin.
For the last couple of months, death has been a shadow looming over our family.

So I ask, with more impatience – what if I die without ever truly living?

Life is short. Even an elderly person who has lived a good life could think of more things they could have done, dreams they could have conquered, if given more time. Death is the most certain thing that we are faced with in life. No one can escape it. One day we will all take our last breath. The uncertainty is in not knowing when that time will be.

I don’t want to die having never followed my dreams. I don’t want to die with my hopes unfulfilled. I want to make an impact in some small way. I don’t want to waste my precious time on earth by filling my time with unimportant, superficial things. I don’t want to simply get through the years, growing older and achieving nothing. That would not be truly living. Sometimes it is hard to do these things. Sometimes it is easy to forget that we are all mortal and we can take life for granted. At the moment I am at a crossroads. I am still numb with grief; I am tired from the emotional stress, so I feel unmotivated to do much. But I am anxious to get living, so I don’t waste any more time.

We have been given a wonderful gift and we all can create a very fulfilling and happy life. Let’s make every moment count!

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Suzi Faed Author Avatar

Hello& welcome to my blog, What If Warrior

Here you will find my multi-topic blog, told from my humble point of view. I write from the heart; for me, self-expression comes easier through written words. If you would like to read more about my inspiration for this blog, click here.